Truly Want

Today was my day off. I slept till 12 even though I had a lunch date with my mom and auntie and cousin at 12. I'm so so tired all the time now. Working full time is no easy life... but it's been good. I don't know what the point of this entry is. I wish sometimes it were easier to figure out yourself. I wish I knew what I loved to do. I wish I knew what I wanted in life. I wish I knew myself as well as God knows me. I wish I knew God better in fact. Sometimes... I feel so sad because I want so much, and I know I can't be or have those things until I focus on God, but I want to take the fast easy route... I want him to just hit me from behind and give me everything I want in a moment's notice. But I know that's not how He works. For now I just have to pray that he will give me understanding of his love... and a yearning for Him. That's all that matters and really, that's all I truly want.